The Parenting Blueprint: Proven Wisdom for Building a Legacy (Part 3)

Welcome to the final installment of The Impossible Life Podcast Parenting Series! In Part 1, we laid the foundation with roles, responsibilities, and the mindset of godly parenting. Part 2 explored identity, purpose, and core values with Dr. Robi Sonderegger.

Now, in Part 3, we sit down with Scott and Darlene Unclebach, Garrett’s parents, to explore the real-life blueprint for parenting that builds lasting legacy. With over 40 years of marriage and a family marked by faith, success, and unity, their wisdom is a goldmine for any parent who wants to lead well.

Let’s dive into their time-tested principles and practical strategies for parenting with excellence.

The 3 Criteria for Parenting Success

Scott and Darlene have used three clear criteria to measure success as parents. If their children grow up to:

1. Love God

2. Love Themselves

3. Love Others

...then they believe they’ve succeeded.

These simple, profound goals kept their parenting focused on what matters most—eternal values over temporary results.

Reflection:

• Are you focusing on what truly matters, or getting distracted by temporary goals like grades, sports, or popularity?

The Secret Sauce: Relationship Over Rules

If Scott and Darlene could boil parenting down to one “secret sauce,” it’s relationship. While rules create structure, relationship creates connection, influence, and trust.

“Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.”
—Scott Unclebach

Practical Insights:

• Invest time in your kids—especially during transition seasons.

• Be present without an agenda. Sometimes just being available builds the strongest connection.

Family Meetings: Creating Clarity and Unity

The Unclebachs made weekly family meetings a pillar of their family culture. These weren’t boring lectures; they were intentional times to create order, clarity, and unity in their home.

What They Covered:

1. Schedules – Keep everyone aligned.

2. Chores & Responsibilities – Promote shared ownership of the home.

3. Celebrations & Encouragement – Affirm what’s going right.

4. Problem-Solving – Address issues as a team, not top-down commands.

Why It Works:

• Gives kids ownership.

• Builds trust and communication.

• Models teamwork and leadership.

Action Step:

• Start weekly family meetings. Make them simple and consistent—no need for perfection, just presence and purpose.

Building a Legacy: It’s Administrative

Scott explains that legacy isn’t accidental—it’s administrative. Legacy requires planning, structure, and stewardship.

How They Did It:

• Family Mission Statement – Define what your family stands for.

• Core Values – Clarify the standards everyone lives by.

• Family Name as a Brand – Remind your kids: “This is who we are, and this is what we do.”

They treated their family as a team with a clear identity and mission, creating a culture that reproduced excellence and legacy.

Dealing with Difficult Times

No family is perfect. Scott and Darlene faced challenges, but they handled them with grace and wisdom. Their key principles for navigating hard seasons:

1. Stay Consistent with Standards – Don’t lower the bar because things are hard.

2. Prioritize the Relationship – Be a safe place, even in disagreement.

3. Refuse to Lose Your Temper – Reacting in anger erodes trust and respect.

“Don’t discipline in anger. If you need a moment, take it.”
—Darlene Unclebach

Seasons of Parenting: Adapt and Evolve

Parenting isn’t static—it’s seasonal. Scott and Darlene break parenting into four key seasons:

1. Discipline Season (Ages 0-5)

   • Teach obedience, consequences, and structure.

2. Training Season (Ages 5-12)

   • Equip kids with life skills and critical thinking.

3. Coaching Season (Ages 12-18)

   • Offer guidance, advice, and support as they make more decisions.

4. Friendship Season (Adulthood)

   • Transition into a role of friendship and mutual respect.

Knowing the season helps parents focus on the right priorities and avoid common mistakes (like trying to be a friend too early).

Creating Followable Excellence

Scott and Darlene emphasize leading by example. Kids won’t follow what you say unless they respect how you live.

Key Practices:

• Model self-control, especially with temper and speech.

• Pursue personal growth—be the person you want your kids to become.

• Live with integrity, even when no one’s watching.

“Excellence isn’t perfection. It’s consistency with a heart to honor God.”
—Scott Unclebach

Practical Action Steps from Scott & Darlene’s Parenting Blueprint

Here’s how to apply their wisdom today:

✅ Clarify Your Success Criteria: Define your top 3 goals as a parent (e.g., love God, self, and others).
✅ Start Family Meetings: Create consistency, communication, and shared vision in your home.
✅ Develop a Mission & Core Values: Write them down. Revisit them regularly.
✅ Adapt to the Parenting Season: Focus on what your child needs most right now—not what’s convenient.
✅ Master Your Emotions: Commit to never disciplining in anger. Model emotional maturity.
✅ Lead by Example: Pursue excellence in your own life so your kids have a blueprint worth following.

Parenting is Legacy Leadership

Scott and Darlene Unclebach have raised strong, godly leaders because they approached parenting as their greatest leadership role.

You can do the same.

Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about intentionality, consistency, and love. Build your family culture, create legacy by design, and raise kids who will continue that legacy for generations.

Wrap-Up: The Parenting Series Recap

This concludes our three-part Parenting Series from The Impossible Life Podcast. Here’s what we covered:

1. Part 1: Roles, Responsibilities & Mindset of a Godly Parent

2. Part 2: Identity, Purpose & Core Values with Dr. Robi Sonderegger

3. Part 3: Proven Wisdom for Parenting with Scott & Darlene Unclebach

Next Steps: Start Building Your Legacy Today

✅ Subscribe to Mission Ready Mindset for weekly growth strategies to lead yourself and your family.
✅ Follow us on Instagram: @theimpossiblelife
✅ Listen to The Impossible Life Podcast for more powerful insights and strategies to live your impossible life.

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Final Thought: Lead Your Family With Purpose

Your family is your greatest legacy. Lead them intentionally, love them unconditionally, and leave a legacy that echoes for generations.