How to Be a Great Husband: 3 Simple Habits That Will Transform Your Marriage

Being a great husband isn’t complicated. It’s not about being perfect, rich, or romantic 24/7. But it is about consistency, leadership, and loving the way Christ loves — sacrificially, intentionally, and without excuse.

This article is based on The Impossible Life Podcast Ep. 197 | How to Be a Great Husband, where Garrett and Nick lay out the three habits every man needs to create an incredible marriage. It’s wisdom forged from 28+ years of combined marriage experience, biblical truth, and leadership principles that work in real life.

“Marriage is one of the greatest tests of leadership. It reveals who you really are.” — Garrett

Let’s be clear: this isn’t about tips and tricks. These are disciplines that develop you into a man worth following — one your wife can respect, trust, and want to build a future with.

But before you apply them, there’s a critical truth you need to understand first.

First Things First: Your Wife Won’t Follow a Man She Doesn’t Respect

Garrett and Nick don’t sugarcoat it: if your wife doesn’t respect you, these three steps won’t help. You can’t lead her if you can’t even lead yourself.

“Your wife won’t follow you if she doesn’t respect you. And she won’t respect you if you aren’t consistent.” — Nick

That means no shortcuts. If you’re selfish, sloppy, or emotionally unavailable, your wife won’t be inspired by your leadership. She’ll feel burdened by it.

The foundation of being a great husband is this:
Lead yourself.
Love her sacrificially.
Serve the marriage the way Christ served the Church. (Ephesians 5:25-33)

Even if the problem isn’t your fault, take responsibility for the solution. That’s what God did through Jesus — and that’s your model.

Now, with that foundation set, here are the 3 habits every great husband lives by.

Habit #1: Know Her Love Language — And Speak It Daily

Every woman receives love in a different way. If you don’t know what hers is, you’re probably wasting time and effort in ways that don’t land.

“Understanding her love language is a massive unlock.” — Nick

Garrett and Nick reference The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, a framework that’s stood the test of time. The five love languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation

2. Quality Time

3. Receiving Gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

Find out which one (or two) mean the most to her — and then speak that language daily. If she values quality time and you’re always giving gifts, it’s not connecting. You’re loving her on your terms, not hers.

“I walk with my wife, ask how her day was, and make sure we connect daily — because her love language is quality time.” — Nick

It doesn’t need to be grand. It needs to be consistent. Speak her language — not yours — every single day.

Habit #2: Build in Rhythms of Connection (Daily, Weekly, Quarterly, Annually)

Want a thriving marriage? Then act like it. Don’t leave connection up to chance — schedule it. Garrett shares a simple rhythm he uses that’s helped countless men create real momentum in their marriage:

• Daily Check-In: 20–30 minutes with no phones, no distractions — just connection. A walk around the block. Time in the sauna. Something where you’re face-to-face and present.

• Weekly Date Night: Put it on the calendar like a non-negotiable meeting. Plan it. Prioritize it. Book the babysitter ahead of time for the whole year.

• Quarterly Overnight: Get away together, just the two of you. Even one night can reset your connection.

• Annual Trip: A real vacation. No kids. No chaos. Just intentional time for the two of you.

“Don’t treat your spouse like your assistant family manager. Set aside time that’s just about connecting.” — Garrett

This structure doesn’t just help your wife feel loved — it helps you show up with intentionality and consistency. And the payoff? It’s massive.

Habit #3: Bring 100% — Not 50%

Marriage isn’t 50/50. It’s 100/100.

“If I bring anything less than my best, the whole of what Lindsay and I are supposed to be together will be incomplete.” — Garrett

This mindset flips the cultural script. You're not keeping score. You're not waiting for her to meet you halfway. You bring everything you’ve got, every day — because that’s what real love does.

Nick drives the point home:

“If there’s something you wish your wife would do — go first. That’s what leadership looks like.”

Stop waiting for her to change. Start leading by example. You both have unique strengths that God designed to work together. When you each bring 100%, you unlock a marriage that reflects God’s design — not just your desires.

Final Thoughts: Simple ≠ Easy — But It Is Worth It

These habits aren’t complicated. But they’re not easy either.

They require humility. Leadership. Sacrifice. But they work — and the reward is a marriage that’s not just functional, but fantastic.

“Missing out on the plans that God has for you and your wife is massively expensive.” — Nick

So here’s your challenge:

• Know and speak her love language daily.

• Create a structure of intentional connection.

• Bring 100%, every day, without excuse.

Your marriage is your most important earthly relationship. Don’t just hope it gets better — build it.

Because a great marriage isn’t found.
It’s forged.