When Is It Time to Leave Your Church? (And When It’s Just Your Pride Talking)

In this raw and thought-provoking episode of The Impossible Life Podcast, Nick Surface and Josh Craft tackle the emotionally charged topic of when it's appropriate—and when it’s not—to leave a church. The episode strikes a balance between honesty and spiritual maturity, offering biblical clarity on a question many believers eventually face.

With compassion born from experience, the hosts guide listeners through the tension between hurt, conviction, and God's calling.

Why People Leave (And Most of Those Reasons Are Weak)

Nick reflects first on the reality of church hurt. He doesn’t minimize it—poor leadership, doctrinal drift, hypocrisy, and misalignment happen. But he warns that hurt alone rarely justifies leaving. Josh echoes this, calling out the “consumer church mindset” where individuals treat church like a product—if their preferences aren’t met, they walk.

"If your church offends you, ask: is it conviction—or is it pride?"

Their central tension: sin in the church should be addressed—but discomfort or disagreement doesn’t automatically mean departure is necessary.

Legitimate Reasons to Leave (Grounded in Scripture)

The episode then pivots to what Jesus and Paul give as legitimate causes for leaving:

• Doctrinal compromise – If core truths like the gospel or Scripture are abandoned, you’re no longer under biblical authority.

• Patterned abuse or manipulation – Emotional, spiritual, or moral abuse without accountability must be addressed outside that environment.

• No accountability structure – When pastors or elders refuse correction or transparency, the church risks becoming authoritarian or cultish.

• God’s clear leading – Sometimes God shifts your path—through divine leading or closed doors—that call for transition.

Surveys show most church departures are based on preference, not calling. Josh and Nick encourage listeners to fight for their church before jumping ship—unless they’re called to move.

Critical Reflection: Questions to Ask Before Leaving

Rather than a punch list, Josh and Nick guide listeners through questions that reveal motivations and maturity:

• Am I offended—or genuinely convicted?

• Have I addressed concerns with leaders?

• Do I seek peace or permission in my decisions?

• Am I running from discomfort—or toward alignment with God?

They emphasize that maturity counts more than comfort. Many people deeply wounded by one church soon become discontented in the next—because they haven’t grown spiritually; they’ve just left emotionally.

When Leaving Is Spiritual Growth—not Spiritual Failure

A core tension the episode tackles: When exactly is leaving obedience—not compromise?

Nick gives structure:

1. Depart in unity—leave after expressing loyalty and concern.

2. Go with humility—don’t abandon your brothers and sisters.

3. Follow God, not guilt—don’t stay out of guilt or withdraw into isolation.

Josh highlights Scripture's nuance: while Jesus warned the Church’s hypocrisy and warned about false teachers, He never told His sheep to flee their local church by default. Instead, He called them to test leaders, take responsibility, and sometimes—walk away with courage when truth is compromised.

Don’t Leave the Church—Leave Immaturity

The conversation closes with a powerful charge: Don’t let immaturity, preference, pride, or impatience dictate your spiritual position.

They invite listeners to consider:

• Am I building resilient faith—or just seeking easier environments?

• Have I grown through conflict—or run when it got uncomfortable?

• Do I view church as a teammate—or a convenience?

This episode encourages believers to deepen maturity rather than indulge convenience—and to stay in a church long enough to know if the departures are a calling—or just a reaction.